Does your spouse have a high-conflict personality?

When you got married, you likely had dreams of your relationship lasting the test of time. While dating, your future spouse may have seemed like the perfect person to complement your personality, and you likely felt that you two were a perfect match overall. However, after tying the knot, you may have begun feeling that your relationship was less than perfect.

In fact, you may have begun wondering how you chose to marry your spouse in the first place. At every turn, it may seem as if he or she is trying to pick a fight, and due to the unhappiness you have experienced, you have decided that the time has come to end the marriage. However, you may worry that the process will be conflicting as well.

Are you dealing with a high-conflict personality?

Some people have high-conflict personalities, and your spouse may be one of them. Of course, you may have a difficult time knowing for sure, so considering the following factors may help:

• Does your spouse make you feel on-edge or defensive much of the time? Individuals with high-conflict personalities often display extreme emotions, which could rub off on you and make you feel as if you have to justify yourself and your actions to them.
• In addition to extreme emotions, people with high-conflict personalities can also participate in extreme behavior. They may claim that they only behaved a certain way due to feeling tired or stressed, but often, they carry out actions that most other people would not, even if tired or stressed.
• Does your spouse offer ultimatums often or otherwise speak in extreme terms? It is not unusual for people with high-conflict personalities to constantly blame others for their issues and view situations as black or white without room for gray areas.

If any of these characteristics fit your soon-to-be ex, you may have married someone with a high-conflict personality. As a result, that personality could come out strongly during your divorce proceedings, and you may find yourself facing a contentious and complex process.

Not an impossible task

Though your case may have more difficulties due to the other party’s desire for conflict, it is not an impossible endeavor to work through. Of course, it is important to have the right support during this time, and consulting with an Illinois attorney experienced in complex divorce cases may prove useful to you.